Finality. End. Ceased. Stopped. Non-existent. There is something about things being final that can spin you into a feeling of helplessness. Because when things are final, it is totally and completely over and there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot address it with money, power, or prestige. There are few things in life, if any, that are as final as death. Death has a certain sting like no other and it can create emotion that is sometimes unspeakable.
We have reached a final chapter it seems in the case of Derrick, my brother-in law who has been sitting on death row for the last 17 years. We were notified last week that his date for execution has been set for September 22. Yes, a mere 4 weeks away. At first blush, 5 weeks seems like a very short time to process that and accept the idea that your end is near. But, on second thought 5 weeks seems far away to have to sit and await your dreaded end.
The emotions we are experiencing as a family are large and great. I am not sure I have sufficient words in my vocabulary to convey the intense emotion the final decision has wrought. I may be able to share in future blogs as we slowly walk down this path. My overwhelming feeling today is the complete awareness that death has a finality that is unchanged. I must pause a bit and say I am a firm believer in heaven and hell, but the finality I speak of is the opportunity to interact with your loved ones and enjoy the daily routines you experienced before. Those things end and move from present and future to past tense. In life, we get to make choices daily that affect us and those around us. In 1994, Derrick made a choice that affected him and those around him. Today, someone has now made a choice that finality will knock at his door on September 22 barring any intervention or stay of execution.
We certainly pray for an intervention and that is our hope until September 22.